Teaching your child to swim

When I started having kids I was adamant that swimming was as an extra curricular activity that would be mandatory for my kids, as myself and my husband are very weak swimmers.

As families head to the pools and beaches this summer it is imperative that we take water safety into consideration.Teaching your child how to swim is simply equipping your child with a " life saving skill " . A few years ago I heard about a child who drowned in the family swimming pool, his younger siblings could swim but he couldn't and thus died that faithful day.Just as we love to indulge our kids and give them the best clothes, gifts, holidays, education etc we must realise that nothing beats equipping that child with a life saving skill.

Being a confident swimmer is a prerequisite for employment for some jobs, who knows what career paths our children will decide to tow, but before we get to that threshold lets help our children take on a valuable new skill.

Thankfully most schools now offer swimming lessons to children as young as 3 years old so find out if your child's school offers this service. If they don't then you can search for a registered swim school in your area.

Speaking of swimming lessons , here are certain things parents might want to consider:

Safety - Ensure a trusted adult supervises your child's swimming lessons. A parent, aunt , uncle etc should be present to ensure your child's safety to avoid incidents of sexual abuse. Recently, a teacher in a school was fired because she left the students in her care with the swim coach for a couple of minutes and within that time a six year old girl reported she was inappropriately touched by the coach.

Hygiene - Inspect the pools where your child swims. I have seen pools with multiple broken tiles, dead reptiles , debris etc . Swimming in dirty pools could cause diverse health problems.
Teacher Ratio to Child

• For ages 2 1/2 to 4yrs

• Max. Pupil:teacher ratio of 4:1

• For children with little previous water experience or confidence but who are able to enter the water without their parents and follow instructions.

• Teacher is in water with the children when teaching

• For ages 4yrs and over

• Max. Pupil:teacher ratio of 6:1

• For children who are able to enter the water without their parents, (with or without aids), are water confident but unable to swim.

• Teacher is in water with the children when teaching

• For ages 4yrs and over

• Max. Pupil:teacher ratio of 6:1

• For children who are water confident, show control of breathing, able to float, and can travel 5m on their front & back with minimal assistance.

• Teacher is in water with the children when teaching

• Max. Pupil:teacher ratio of 8:1

• For children who can swim 10m unaided on their front and back in a recognised stroke.

• Max. Pupil:teacher ratio of 8:1

• For children who can swim 25m competently using front crawl, backcrawl, and breastroke, as well as a basic understanding of butterfly.

• Max. Pupil:teacher ratio of 8:1

• For children who want to prepare to join a swimming club or just simply enjoy swimming and want to keep fit. Emphasis is on training, stamina building, perfecting stroke technique, competitive starts/turns etc

• Tailor made lessons to accomodates every child's standard and need.

At the end of the day all you want is for your child to get a confident grasp of one of the most important life skills.  Children should be taught that the water is a safe place to have fun.

The number one goal when taking your child to the swimming pool is to have fun, especially if your child is frightened or scared in any way, so the fundamentals of actually swimming are secondary at this stage. 

A calm and relaxed approach is essential.  If the teacher is relaxed, then so will they be.  If he/she is having fun, the chances are they will too. 

If you are in any doubt then consult a professional swimming teacher about swimming lessons.

Remember, the toys you spend money on today will be no more in a few years but money and time spent on helping your kids acquire new skills will last a lifetime!

Qualities of a good nanny

A professional help called a house maid or atimes a nanny is a preferred relief to the families who find it difficult to manage their household activities along with their work timings and office schedules. The available domestic help include cleaners, nannies, cooks, drivers and gardeners.-

Finding a good nanny these days in Lagos is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack .Don't we all just want Mary Poppins? Its all so time consuming finding a new nanny  but the hard part is finding A GOOD NANNY

So you have interviewed the best candidates, and called references. But how do you know which nanny or maid is really the best for your home and your child?
Experience is what counts the most, so look for it in the nannies you interview. Safety training should also rank high on the wish list, and a background in early childhood development is a definite plus.

When you've picked a good candidate, try her out for a few days while you're home so you can observe her. (Pay her for her time, of course.) The list below can help you evaluate a candidate — or take the measure of the nanny you already have. If you have a nanny or maid with these qualities below then you have got Mary Poppins.

You've got a good nanny if:

• Your child lights up at the first sight of her. Kids look forward to the time they spend with their nanny if she's warm, caring, and patient. And you're doubly in luck if it's not just the kids who like having her around. "I consider myself very lucky to have my nanny," says Brenda Akinyemi, a good friend of mine. "If she weren't my nanny, I could see being friends with her."
• Your kids can't stop talking about all the wonderful things she says and does. You may find a caregiver who can do everything well, but if she truly enjoys being in the company of children, your kids will know it. Her love will shine through every day she's with your child.
• She comes up with creative solutions to problems and works with you to provide the best possible care for your child. If your child has run out of paint, for example, she'll find some household supplies your child can use for his art work home work from school.she'll turn to you for advice and help on tips. It shows that she takes her job seriously when she both takes the initiative and collaborates with you.
• She arrives on time. Other signs she's reliable: She gives you ample warning when she's unable to care for your child because of an emergency, and even helps you find a substitute caregiver. She's considerate of your needs and respects the rules you have put in place.
• She makes an effort to stay connected. A nanny who takes her job seriously will keep you informed of daily activities by setting aside some time for the two of you to catch up. She'll understand that you'll want to know how your child is doing, and will keep you abreast of any problems, big or small.
• Your child volunteers new songs and words and shows off his many projects. The best nannies are aware of and cherish children's curiosity. They'll try to answer questions, elicit imaginative responses, and think up creative ways to teach new skills.
• Your child's room is clean, and so is your child. Excellent care includes cleanliness and good health. Your nanny will practice good hygiene around your child if she truly has his welfare in mind.
• Accidents are infrequent. Of course tumbles will happen, but a good nanny makes safety a priority both at home and when she and your child are out and about. She'll hold your child's hand when they cross a street on the way to the park, keep a close eye on him in the backyard, and keep the safety gate to the kitchen closed at all times.  

TIPS
Do you know it is advisable to carry out health checks on your domestic staff every 6 months? A recent report of a nanny after commencing work with a family showed signs of TB (though at time of employment this came up negative), another tested positive for HIV 6months after she was negative. Healthcare workers recommend you send your staff for a health check screening at a reputable lab/hospital every 6 months

What really is a good marriage?

Marriage is the closet bond that is possible between two human beings. At least that was the original plan, it is meant to be unique, without parallel or precedent.


Well, I think the definition of "a good marriage" depends on the individual couples. Each couple is different and the reasons their marriages last are as different from one couple from another as the couples themselves. There is no universal  definitive "good marriage"' I say so because religion, race, upbringing, morals, tradition and atimes even age( yes age, an 18 year olds view on marriage is different from a 40year old lady) can affect our perspective on what a good marriage is and hopefully your spouse shares the same views.

But this is how I see it, a  'good' marriage is an easy relationship. There are no secrets, no lies, no expectations. you love each other unconditionally and put up with each others habits!

Both have to give 100% while meeting in the middle and sometimes you have to pick up a few extra %s now and then.

You work effortlessly to please each other and be thankful everyday for their love and give love back, daily.

A good marriage is what you make it, what is good for you, how it makes you feel.

 Marriages becomes a burden when a  couple marry for the wrong reasons or go into them without really knowing the other person. When it is right you will know. if you have ANY doubts it is not yet right.

Marriages go bad because one side is feeling left out, cheated on, carrying more than their 100% for too long and not appreciated. All we really need is love and support the rest will take care of itself.

A good marriage doesn't just happen,If you have your marriage management on "autopilot," that will not produce the results you surely want.  It takes nurturing ,openness and commitment..Everything in one’s life is in direct proportion to the attention, effort and importance given to it.

But then again his is just my opinion, how do you define a good marriage?

Whats the funniest question your child has ever asked ?share yours!

Kids ask the funniest questions ever and atimes you simply just don't know how to respond.

My son once asked "'mum who made God?"' Why did Daniel not fight the lions afterall David fought Goliath"'
If you dont have kids yet you might have heard a child ask one or two hilarious questions.

Well.... "'If you have little kids, then expect big question""

What is the funniest question you've ever heard from a child?.... Any questions at all and also post your reply to that question

The Genius in Every Child!

I am no expert in child education but I strongly  belief  that there is a genius in every child and it is the parents responsibility to discover and awaken it. We must identify those negative influences in our environment that prevent the genius from revealing itself in our children, and focus on those factors that awaken and nurture this genius, that enhance its growth.

My husband loves to read and he was adamant on making sure our children develop an interest in books, when my first son turned one we read a book to him daily, He is four years old now, he reads and spells very well, he represents his school at spelling bee competitions and competes with 6 year old pupils and he always wins.

The mistake parents make is relying solely on the teachers in school for a child's formal education.
NO! Its mainly a parents responsibility to make sure your child is always ahead in his or her academics.

No kid is unsmart every child is a genius at something, our job is to find it and encourage it.

Seven Little Tips

1. At the beginning of each session in your child's school request for a copy of the curriculum.
2. Secondly, spend at least 30mins each day with your child giving lessons on areas of the curriculum yet to be covered in school.  Eventually your child would always be ahead of the pack
3. Thirdly, to help develop your child's vocabulary do not communicate with your him/her using what I call "'baby words"' don't modify your words, my 4 year old uses words like embarrassing, convenient, impressive etc this is because we have used these words while speaking to him in the past.
4. From age 3 Enhance your child's numeracy by randomly asking him/her to add or subtract.
5. Make your kids excited about learning time, for me I have a song we sing as we march to the kids library.lol!Get colourful tables and chairs and create a colourful space for learning with a mini blackboard.
6. Don't overwhelm your child with more than he can handle,work at his/her pace.Every child is different.
7. Teach your child other life skills swimming, playing a musical instrument etc. No good thing you teach a child is wasted.

Consider these Questions

 

Can I hurt my child by starting early? Well, Of course not, you may help significantly. Studies conducted over the last 35 years concluded that early reading gives children a significant advantage in school. Children who start reading before the first grade maintain their lead in reading and comprehension over their "regular pace" peers through grade school. Research also shows that early readers are also likelier to excel in other academic subjects as well.

Can I teach a baby to read? Not really. They can recognise some shapes but it is not really reading. Most children are not developmentally ready until about 3 years of age.

What about phonics? Any reading program you find based solely on phonics is both boring and difficult for the child and is incomplete. A successful reading program must combine phonics with at least some elements of whole word approach.

So where do I start? The most important tool for teaching your child to read is - story time. Point to the words as you read them their favourite story. This gets the idea into their head that those funny shapes on the page are actually words just waiting to be deciphered

Our busy schedules make it hard atimes to stick to a daily routine of finding enough time to implement learning time but do the little you can,when you can.

‘’Loving a child doesn’t mean giving him all he wants, to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult”’

Raising a responsible Child

Duty to  Family

Children need to learn that for the household to run smoothly, every member of the family is obligated to pitch in. That's why I assigned to my two older kids their first official chores  -- helping with laundry (sorting lights from darks) and washing their socks after school .  "Sometimes Tobe steps in to help Ashionye finish her jobs, especially when he wants to go out and play with her,"

 Despite how important this is, some parents still feel uncomfortable making toddlers help out around the house, concerned that they'll be robbing their kids of time to just be kids ("they're only small once; they'll have their whole lives to work") or hesitant about slowing down enough to include small children in the rush of housekeeping or some simply feel its the maids job. But children should have the chance to feel important to the family.Needing to be needed isn't just an adult thing  -- it's human nature."
Kids love it when you ask them to help you lift something that's a little heavy or to fold a tablecloth. Two-year-olds can take on independent tasks with supervision, such as placing a napkin at everyone's plate on the dinning table. Three-year-olds can bring dirty dishes to the kitchen, feed the fish in the aquarium, and wipe up spills. Four-year-olds can water houseplants, empty wastebaskets, sort laundry by colors, and help put away groceries. (Just remember: They may not stay focused longer than 10 to 15 minutes, and each new task requires patient, step-by-step instructions.)

By age 5, children can make significant contributions to running the household. They can sweep with a small broom, fold and put away clothes, or work outside in the yard or the garden. But parents should not expect more than about 20 minutes of sustained attention from kids this age; note that reminders about specific chores may be needed from day to day. Visual cues like checklists and star charts are good ways to keep them on track

Nigerian parents tend to wait until their children are 8 or 9, before making them pitch in.
 "But the foundations of responsibility should be laid much sooner."

Career Change-Whats stopping you?

If you don't like where you are then change it, you are not a tree!

The work that you do to make a living takes up a large portion of your time and energy. Day after day, the average human works for years, logging in hours upon hours of labour.
That’s not a bad thing, if you love your work.
Unfortunately, too many of us can barely even tolerate our jobs. We long to do something that manifests our true purpose in life.
Once you identify the fears behind your excuses for staying put, you can then find the courage to make the career change that you already know you need to make.

The Obvious Fears

Most people will have no problem identifying the fear of change and the fear of living in poverty as two main reasons people decide to stay in a career that doesn’t make them happy.
But I encourage you to dig a little deeper and find what’s really keeping you trapped in your current job.
When I decided to change careers, I realised that it was the more visceral, less apparent fears that really kept me stuck.
I’ll describe them here. Maybe they’ll be familiar to you as well.

The Deeper Fears

Disappointing Others

I pursued Engineering long after I realised it might not be the right path for me , I studied Production Engineering and made a second class upper from the University of  Benin, I strongly believe anything worth doing is worth doing well,because I believed people were counting on me to be a successful engineer. I’d gotten everyone’s hopes up, and I wanted to make them proud.
Finding a job in engineering was not easy,so I applied to work in a bank and I got the job, unfortunately I was assigned to the marketing department.Everyone was happy for me,but was I?
It could be your parent’s longtime dream for you, or it could be the pride you see in your partner’s eyes when they tell people what you do.
You don’t want to lose that. People you love seem happy about your career choice, but it doesn’t make you happy.
I decided to leave banking after 5years  because I realised that the people who really mattered to me would never want me to live a lifetime of misery. They would be more elated to know that I was happy

Losing the Status Symbol

Some careers are more prestigious than others. It sounds superficial, but if we’re honest, it really matters to a lot of people, and if we have a bit of prestige, it can be hard to let that go.
The label of “banker” was sounded interesting. The way people responded when I told them I worked in a bank.
The same can be said for lawyers, doctors, and engineers, etc.

Being Judged by Others

“So, you couldn’t handle it, hunh?”
“Not everybody’s cut out for this work.”
“It’s a lot of hard work to be successful in this marketing career.”
“Some people wish they had your job.”
“You should work to live, not live to work.”
The implication is people believe that you’re merely quitting because you’re incompetent, weak, lazy, afraid of hard work, not so smart after all, ungrateful, unrealistic, and foolish to think that you deserve to make money doing what you love.
In the words of Steve Maraboli: “People who lack clarity, courage, or determination to follow their own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours.”
Others will have their opinions and criticisms, but unless they’re your children or life partner, they don’t have to live with the consequences of your decisions. You do!
People gave me lots of advice when I decided to quit marketing, but I was the one who had to wake up before dawn, spend hours looking for clients to open accounts, face trashing in meetings for not meeting my targets, get home late from work without any strength left in me to attend properly to my kids, all while neglecting time for my kids. They couldn’t do it for me. So I respected their opinions, but relied more on my inner knowing.

Starting Over and Wasted Time

Even though I’d only spent a couple of years in the wrong career (as opposed to decades), I still felt downright sick at the thought of all that wasted time, effort, and money.
Not just my time and money, but that of all the people who helped me along the way.
I’ll admit that it left me bitter for a while, but I eventually saw that it wasn’t wasted time. I had gained valuable knowledge and expertise that actually helped me in the pursuit of my dream job. I just had to re frame my prior experiences.
Dr. Noelle Stern says in her book Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go after Your Dreams that “at every stage, each of our experiences is exactly what we’ve needed.”
The fears listed above were all internal barriers to change. They emanated from and could only be pushed aside by me. After much of that proverbial soul searching, I finally recognised what my real fears were and was finally able to cultivate the courage to make the career changes that essentially saved my life.
So, are you trapped in a career that you know is not the best fulfilment of your life’s purpose? What’s keeping you from changing your career path?

Welcome!

So…who am I?
I’m a freelance writer (isn’t everyone?) mother of three currently residing in Lagos. I’m a north Londoner at heart but that’s another story.
I’ve worked in marketing,banking sector for most of my adult life.
I started this blog in June 2013 to chronicle my adventures in Lagos child rearing. My children are aged 4,2 and 8months old and to protect myself from future litigation (from them; I know my kids) I’m referring to them by their middle names Ashionye for the girl and Tobe and Ebi for the boys.

Like all parents, I think my children are mini geniuses so I’ll be writing about education too. I’ll also throw in a little fashion and beauty to lighten the tone. In fact, there’s very little I won’t cover.
I hope you enjoy your visit and you’ll come back soon